To E to (E or D)?..Read the post to find the meaning..

I started thinking roughly around the time i was 16.. thinking as in thinking consciously..with brain,eyes ,ears slightly more open...in a philosophical kind of way..trying to answer the doublew eh questions of life..what and why am i doing the thing i am doing..where do i go from here..how is one supposed to know what is right and what is wrong...I was never bothered with such queries before..
Earlier,i used to do things according to the conventional wisdom,accepting what the majority says..but when i say i started thinking,i mean to say that i started feeling odd about not questioning the so called proven and tested ways of the world...i started feeling that all things might not be very simple to understand..that there might be some questions whose answers might be very convoluted...so complex that they defy the rational logic and might be comprehensible to only those with an 160+ IQ.....

I have been thinking all the time since then...it was fun to start seeing beyond what was obviously visible..i started realizing that many facts are much different than what we perceive superficially..that if there are 10 causes behind anything that takes place in our lives,only 4 of them are visible to the naked mind..the remaining 6 are hidden either by human prejudices or are so hard to interpret that we find it easy to just ignore and then forget them...then began the quest to find solutions to everything that wasn't straightforward in the life..

I began feeling kind of evolved in my thinking process..i started thinking that my journey to higher levels of intellectual thinking has begun...that the multiple confusions in my mind are just a side effect of the 'deep' thinking that i get involved in...i was basically feeling happy for myself...
But i suppose the next stage of this evolution had to come sometime and it has come for me..or shall i just call it a devolution?

Because this is the stage where i am,in some respects,done seeing and thinking beyond;just to find out that what lies beyond is nothing but that same conventional wisdom i have been trying to refuse to believe in..that all one needs to apply to get things done and working is pure common sense...not a complicated,multi-multi faceted thinking process...and the realization that what i was calling 'deep' thinking could just be something to hide the insecurities and inability to think clearly...

I still am not sure which version of my thinking was/is right..or may be i should just let both of them balance each other properly..
May be its a part of growing up or may be i am an anomaly and hence going off track..only more time and experience will decide.. and teach.....i wanna be around when that happens..or is it an unending process?i guess it is...
(The author is in no mood to elaborate by giving examples of what exactly it was and is that makes her think the way she did and does..partly because she is,at the moment,not articulate enough to do that,and partly because her clock is reading 1.24a.m. right now and she wants to sleep..but she strongly believes in her instincts...and these instincts,along with many real experiences are responsible for this post..)